3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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