At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
the day after is always just damage control
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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