I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
