it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
