Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
