Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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