wake up i wanna do it froggy style
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
