she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize
