She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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