Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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