just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
