Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
