More tranny stories later!
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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