Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
