Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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