his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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