I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
