Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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