Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
