Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
