Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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