if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
