high people should be assigned attendants
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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