What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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