I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Can you bring me the toilet please
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
