I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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