He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
