can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
