So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
