Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
