Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
you never un-have a 4some
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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