does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
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