now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
