Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
