oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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