That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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