she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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