why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
