Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me

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(913): View more from Kansas

so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..

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(541): View more from Oregon

bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know

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(707): View more from California

You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."

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(518): View more from New York

ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens

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(786): View more from Florida

I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ

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