i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
