I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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