you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm getting married
To pizza
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
