so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
That accounts for only three of the penises
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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