i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
