The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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