I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Randomize
