Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
