I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
