The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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