when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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